Quick Overview
How can you improve your life? Start by understanding that how you interpret experiences shapes how you feel and act, then make small, meaningful changes.
Key points:
- Your interpretation of events matters more than the events themselves
- Small, specific goals work better than vague resolutions
- Approach-oriented goals (what you want to achieve) succeed more than avoidance goals
- Support and self-compassion make lasting change possible
Take the First Step Towards a Healthy Mental Wellbeing.
We’re here to support you. Click below to schedule a consultation and start your journey to improved mental well-being today.
The Power of Interpretation
How You See Things Changes Everything
Nicholas Desisto, LPC, NCC, a therapist at Serenium Therapy & Wellness, explains a foundational principle for improving your life: “Interpretation is everything. It’s simply the way we interpret things, which is going to determine the way we feel and then how we act.”
Research in cognitive behavioral therapy shows that how people feel is determined by the way they interpret situations rather than by the situations themselves. The insight of the CBT model is that it is not events that bother us; instead, it is the way that we interpret events, the meaning that we give to them, that gives rise to our feelings.
Desisto offers a simple example: “Imagine if I’m in a grocery store, just walking down an aisle, and I bump into someone. My first thought could be, ‘What the hell, this person bumped into me,’ so I become annoyed, and then either say something or the rest of my day I’m annoyed.”
He continues: “Same thing happens, and it’s just like it was an accident. We bumped into each other. Oh, I’m sorry. Okay. I feel fine. Then I go about my day. So the smallest way we interpret something is just unbelievable.”
Real-Life Applications
Desisto extends this to bigger situations: “Getting into a car accident, nobody loves getting in a car accident, obviously, but a lot of people, when we do get in a car accident, there’s this idea that ‘this person hit me, they hit me.’ But it was just an accident. So really, it comes down to just the way we interpret things.”
The cognitive model explains that what we think, how we behave, and how other people make us feel are all closely related, and they all affect our well-being. This means you have more control over your experience than you might realize.
Understanding New Year’s Resolutions
The Reality of Resolutions
If you’re considering improving your life around the new year, understanding what actually works (and what doesn’t) with resolutions can be helpful.
Research tracking over 1,000 people found that 55% considered themselves successful in sustaining their resolutions at a one-year follow-up. That’s encouraging; more than half succeeded when they set meaningful goals.
However, other studies paint a more challenging picture. One comprehensive study found that after one week, 75% of people were still successful with their resolutions, but this dropped to 46% after six months.
The good news? People who make formal resolutions are 10 times more likely to achieve their objectives compared to those who attempt change without setting resolutions.
What Actually Works
What does this mean?
Approach-oriented goals (more successful):
- “I will exercise three times per week”
- “I will save $200 each month”
- “I will call a friend once a week”
Avoidance-oriented goals (less successful):
- “I will stop being lazy”
- “I won’t eat junk food”
- “I’ll avoid procrastinating”
The difference is subtle but powerful. Approach goals tell you what to do; avoidance goals only tell you what not to do.
Practical Steps to Improve Your Life
Start with How You Think
Notice Your Interpretations
Pay attention to how you’re interpreting everyday situations. Are you assuming the worst? Are you taking things personally? Are you making situations bigger than they need to be?
As Desisto emphasizes, the way you interpret small moments, like someone bumping into you, shapes your entire day. Small shifts in interpretation can create significant changes in how you feel.
Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts
Cognitive therapy helps people learn to replace unhelpful thought patterns with more realistic and less harmful thoughts. When you catch yourself interpreting something negatively, pause and ask:
- Is there another way to see this?
- What would I tell a friend in this situation?
- Am I assuming something that might not be true?
Set Specific, Approach-Oriented Goals
Make Goals Concrete
Instead of “I want to be healthier,” try “I will walk for 20 minutes three times this week.” Instead of “I want to be less stressed,” try “I will practice five minutes of deep breathing before bed.”
Clear and specific goals are easier to follow than vague aspirations. When you know exactly what you’re aiming for, you can track progress and stay motivated.
Start Small
You don’t need to transform your entire life overnight. Studies show that starting with manageable steps leads to better long-term success.
Pick one area to focus on first. Maybe it’s:
- Moving your body regularly
- Getting more consistent sleep
- Connecting with people you care about
- Managing stress more effectively
- Building a skill you’ve wanted to learn
Built-in Support
Research found that the group receiving some support was significantly more successful compared to those with no support or excessive support. This suggests that the right amount of support matters.
What support looks like:
- Telling someone about your goal
- Finding an accountability partner
- Joining a group with similar goals
- Working with a therapist or coach
- Checking in regularly with yourself
Expect Setbacks Without Giving Up
Studies show that more than half of successful resolvers slipped at least once, with people slipping an average of 14 times across two years. Yet they still succeeded overall.
Setbacks don’t mean failure. They mean you’re human. What matters is how you respond to them.
Instead of: “I missed three days of exercise, so I’ve failed.” Try: “I missed three days, and I can start again today”
Common Areas People Want to Improve
Physical Health and Movement
The most popular resolution category is physical health, with about one-third of people wanting to improve their health.
Approach-oriented examples:
- Walk for 15 minutes during lunch breaks
- Try one new vegetable each week
- Go to bed 30 minutes earlier on weeknights
- Take the stairs instead of the elevator twice a day
Mental and Emotional Well-being
Studies found that psychological health was a common resolution category, with many people seeking ways to manage stress, anxiety, or mood.
Approach-oriented examples:
- Practice three minutes of deep breathing daily
- Write down three things you’re grateful for each evening
- Reach out to one friend or family member weekly
- Schedule time for activities you enjoy
Personal Growth and Learning
Approach-oriented examples:
- Read for 10 minutes before bed
- Watch one educational video on a topic you’re curious about weekly
- Practice a new skill for 15 minutes three times per week
- Take one online class or workshop
Relationships and Connection
Approach-oriented examples:
- Have one meaningful conversation with someone each week
- Send a thoughtful message to someone you care about monthly
- Plan one activity with friends or family per month
- Put your phone away during meals with others
Take the First Step Towards a Healthy Mental Wellbeing.
We’re here to support you. Click below to schedule a consultation and start your journey to improved mental well-being today.
When Professional Support Helps
Therapy as a Tool for Change
Working with a therapist can help you improve your life in ways that feel sustainable and authentic to you. Therapy isn’t just for crisis, it’s a space to:
- Understand patterns in how you think and act
- Challenge interpretations that aren’t serving you
- Develop specific strategies for your goals
- Process obstacles that come up
- Build self-compassion along the way
As Desisto’s example shows, cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, helping you make meaningful changes by shifting how you interpret and respond to your experiences.
Signs That Support Could Help
Consider reaching out if:
- You’re feeling stuck despite trying to make changes
- You’d like guidance in setting realistic goals
- Past attempts at change haven’t worked out
- You’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or other challenges
- You want personalized strategies for your specific situation
Creating Lasting Change
Focus on Process, Not Perfection
Improving your life isn’t about becoming perfect or completely transforming overnight. It’s about making small, consistent choices that align with who you want to be.
Remember Desisto’s wisdom about interpretation: you get to choose how you see situations. That choice shapes your feelings, which shape your actions, which shape your life.
Be Patient and Kind with Yourself
Research shows that successful change requires confidence and readiness, but it also requires compassion when things don’t go as planned.
Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you care about. When you slip up, respond with understanding rather than harsh criticism.
Celebrate Small Wins
Every time you make a choice aligned with your goals, even a small one, that’s worth acknowledging. Each small win builds momentum and reinforces that change is possible.
Common Questions
How long does it take to see improvement?
This varies by person and goal. Research on habit formation suggests that it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic, but some habits form faster, and others take longer. Focus on consistency rather than speed.
What if I’ve tried to improve before and failed?
Past attempts aren’t failures; they’re learning experiences. Studies show that even successful people slipped an average of 14 times while achieving their goals. What you learned from previous attempts can inform your approach this time.
Do I need to wait for January 1st to start?
No. While New Year’s can provide psychological momentum through the “fresh start effect,” you can set meaningful goals at any point. The best time to start is when you feel ready.
How do I stay motivated when progress feels slow?
Break your larger goal into smaller milestones you can celebrate along the way. Research suggests that focusing on short-term periods, such as a month, creates a psychological sense of control. Track your progress to see how far you’ve come.
What if people around me aren’t supportive?
Finding support through groups, workout partners, or online communities can provide the encouragement you need. You might also consider working with a therapist who can provide consistent, non-judgmental support.
How do I know which changes to prioritize?
Start with what matters most to you personally, not what you think you “should” do. Research shows that goals based on existing skills and circumstances have a higher chance of success because they’re grounded in reality. Be true to yourself.
Moving Forward
Improving your life isn’t about dramatic transformation or perfection. It’s about small, meaningful changes that compound over time. It’s about choosing to interpret situations in ways that serve you. It’s about setting specific, achievable goals and treating yourself with compassion along the way.
As Desisto reminds us, interpretation is everything. The same situation can lead to completely different outcomes depending on how you choose to see it. That power, the power to interpret, to choose your response, to decide what meaning you’ll give to your experiences, is always available to you.
You don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need to take one small step today. Pick one area to focus on. Set one specific goal. Make one small change in how you’re interpreting a situation that’s been bothering you.
Every journey toward improvement starts with a single step. You’re capable of more than you know, and support is available when you need it.
