Holiday Stress Tips: Simple Ways to Take Care of Yourself This Season

Quick Overview

What causes holiday stress? A mix of high expectations, packed schedules, financial pressure, family dynamics, and sometimes grief or loneliness.

Key points:

• Holiday stress is very common;  you’re not alone
• Small, practical steps can make a real difference
• It’s okay to take breaks and set boundaries
• Support is available if you need it

Understanding Holiday Stress

Why the Holidays Feel Stressful

A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 89% of U.S. adults feel stressed during the holiday season, with 41% reporting higher stress levels compared to other times of the year.

Common sources of holiday stress include:

• Packed calendars and limited free time
• Financial pressures from gifts, travel, and entertaining
• High expectations (from yourself and others)
• Family gatherings and complex dynamics
• Grief or loneliness when missing loved ones
• Less daylight and disrupted routines

The National Alliance on Mental Illness noted that 64% of individuals living with a mental health disorder felt that their conditions worsened around the holidays. Even if you don’t have a diagnosed condition, the season can still feel overwhelming.

The Mixed Emotions Are Normal

Haley Grimes-Stiroh, LAC, a therapist at Serenium Therapy & Wellness, reminds us that complex feelings during this time are completely normal: “Obviously, this time of the year is filled with holidays. It can also be filled with a lot of different emotions, a lot of good, but also sometimes not so good.”

You might feel joy and stress, excitement and exhaustion, connection and loneliness, sometimes all at once. These mixed feelings don’t mean anything is wrong with you.

Practical Holiday Stress Tips

Set Realistic Expectations

We dream about the ways the holidays are supposed to be, which can be a dangerous perspective. When we chase perfection, we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Try this instead:

• Accept that not everything will go perfectly
• Focus on what matters most to you
• Let go of comparing your holidays to social media posts
• Remember that meaningful doesn’t require perfect

Give Yourself Permission to Say No

You don’t need to attend every event. Saying no when you need to isn’t rude; it’s taking care of yourself.

Practice saying:

• “That doesn’t work for me, but thank you for thinking of me.”
• “I need to keep my schedule light this year.”
• “I appreciate the invitation, but I’ll have to pass”

You don’t owe anyone lengthy explanations.

Take Five-Minute Resets

Grimes-Stiroh offers simple, practical advice for managing stress in the moment: “My biggest piece of advice is as much as you can try and be there, be present, and if you feel like you need to step away, take a breather, just kind of take a break, maybe, which is totally okay.”

She emphasizes that taking care of yourself doesn’t require grand gestures: “Do what you can to kind of take care of yourself in that moment. Go and throw some water on your face. Go listen to some music that you like. Do what you can. Take care of yourself for a few minutes, and then get back to being with family and friends.”

Quick reset ideas:

• Step outside for fresh air
• Take a short walk around the block
• Splash cold water on your face
• Listen to a favorite song
• Do some deep breathing
• Find a quiet corner for a few minutes

Holiday mindfulness exercises such as journaling, deep breathing, a short walk, or a quiet moment can reset your nervous system.

Manage Financial Stress

Holiday spending can easily leave people in debt, contributing to stress that may last well into the new year.

Money-saving approaches:

• Set a realistic budget before shopping
• Consider homemade gifts or experiences instead of purchases
• Suggest a family gift exchange with name-drawing
• Remember that your presence matters more than presents

Maintain Self-Care Basics

When schedules get packed, basic self-care often slips. It is also important to remember to prioritize necessities, including eating a balanced diet, getting plenty of sleep, and finding time for exercise.

Simple daily practices:

• Keep regular sleep and wake times
• Eat regular meals
• Move your body, even just a short walk
• Limit alcohol (it can worsen stress and mood)
• Stay hydrated

Connect with Others Thoughtfully

If you can’t be near loved ones during the holidays, finding a supportive community through clubs, support groups, community centers, local meetups, and faith communities can help reduce feelings of loneliness.

If you’re feeling lonely:

• Reach out to someone; they might be struggling too
• Schedule video calls with distant friends or family
• Consider volunteering
• Attend community events

Be Present in the Moments That Matter

Grimes-Stiroh emphasizes the importance of presence: “Enjoy it.” When you’re with people you care about, try to be fully there rather than worrying about what’s next or what’s not perfect.

What “really counts” will be different from person to person, whether that means spending time with family and friends, spending some much-needed downtime at home, or focusing on the year ahead. Be present in those moments.

Managing Specific Holiday Challenges

When Family Dynamics Feel Difficult

Family gatherings can bring up old patterns and tensions. Research shows that family dynamics, from unresolved conflict to social pressure to “keep the peace, are among the most common stress triggers during holiday gatherings.

Helpful approaches:

• Set boundaries ahead of time
• Have an exit plan if you need to leave early
• Focus on the people you do connect with
• Accept that you can’t control how others behave
• Take breaks when needed (remember Grimes-Stiroh’s advice!)

When You’re Grieving or Missing Someone

Loneliness and grief can be heightened during the holidays. If you’re experiencing your first holiday season without someone you love, or if you’re separated from people who matter to you, these feelings are real and valid.

Ways to honor your feelings:

• Acknowledge the loss rather than avoiding it
• Create space to remember your loved one
• Adjust traditions in ways that feel right
• Connect with others who understand
• Be gentle with yourself

Instead of trying to avoid thinking about your loved one, honor and celebrate them by getting together with other family members and friends and treasuring their life stories.

When Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Adds to Stress

Shorter days and less sunlight can affect mood and energy. Seasonal affective disorder is a type of depression that occurs because of changes in the seasons. Symptoms usually appear during late autumn.

What can help:

• Get outside during daylight hours when possible
• Open curtains to let in natural light
• Consider a light therapy lamp
• Maintain regular routines
• Talk to your doctor if symptoms are significant

When Your Schedule Feels Overwhelming

Even though the holiday season may be overwhelmingly busy, try to keep any regularly scheduled therapy a priority. The holidays can bring up difficult emotions, and maintaining your support systems matters.

Schedule management tips:

• Look at your calendar and identify what you can remove
• Build in buffer time between commitments
• Schedule self-care like you would any other appointment
• Remember that rest is productive

Coping Strategies That Work

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a valuable mental wellness tool. Mindfulness practices can be particularly helpful if you are traveling or dealing with an unusual schedule.

Simple mindfulness practices:

• Take three slow, deep breaths
• Notice five things you can see right now
• Pay attention to the taste and texture of your food
• Feel your feet on the ground

Use Stress-Relief Techniques

Several techniques have been proven in studies to reduce the stress response. These techniques include focused breathing techniques, meditation, and hypnosis.

Try this simple breathing exercise:

1. Breathe in slowly through your nose for four counts
2. Hold for four counts
3. Exhale slowly through your mouth for six counts
4. Repeat several times

Get Outside When Possible

Numerous studies have pointed to the mental health benefits of spending time in nature, including stress relief, better concentration, lower levels of inflammation, and improved mental energy.

Even a short walk outside can help reset your nervous system.

Ask for Help

Don’t carry the season alone. Whether it’s help with cooking, cleaning, shopping, or emotional support, reaching out isn’t a weakness; it’s wisdom.

When to Seek Additional Support

Signs You Might Benefit from Professional Help

Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if:

• Stress or sadness persists beyond the holiday season
• You’re feeling anxious or depressed for more than two weeks
• Holiday stress is significantly affecting your daily functioning
• You’re having thoughts of self-harm
• You’d like support in developing coping strategies

Treatment works, and it starts with one conversation.

Support Is Normal and Available

Talking with a therapist during the holidays isn’t a sign that something is seriously wrong. It’s a sign that you’re taking care of your mental health proactively.

Therapy can help you:

• Navigate difficult family dynamics
• Process grief or loss
• Manage anxiety and stress
• Develop personalized coping strategies
• Feel less alone in your struggles

Common Questions

Is it normal to feel stressed during the holidays?

Absolutely. 89% of U.S. adults feel stressed during the holiday season. You’re in the majority, not the minority. The pressure, expectations, and packed schedules affect most people to some degree.

What if I don’t enjoy the holidays?

That’s completely valid. Not everyone connects with holiday celebrations, and that’s okay. Some people struggle with their mental and emotional well-being during this time of year. You can participate in ways that feel comfortable to you, or create your own traditions that feel better.

How do I handle difficult family members?

Set boundaries ahead of time, have an exit strategy, and remember Grimes-Stiroh’s advice about taking breaks. You can step away, take care of yourself for a few minutes, and then return. You can also leave early if needed; you’re not obligated to stay in situations that feel harmful.

What if my stress doesn’t go away after the holidays?

Talk to your mental health professional or your primary care physician if you have been feeling anxious or depressed for more than two weeks, or if the holidays are long gone and you are still feeling stressed, anxious, or depressed. Ongoing symptoms deserve attention and support.

Can the holidays really worsen mental health conditions?

Yes. Research shows that 64% of individuals living with a mental health disorder felt that their conditions worsened around the holidays. If you have anxiety, depression, or other conditions, extra support during this time can be helpful.

What if I can’t afford gifts?

Remember that your presence is more valuable than presents. Consider handmade gifts, spending quality time together, or having honest conversations with loved ones about simplified gift-giving. Financial strain is one of the top holiday stressors, so setting a realistic budget matters.

Moving Forward Through the Season

The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. As Grimes-Stiroh reminds us, the goal is to “be there, be present” and “enjoy it” while also giving yourself permission to step away and take care of yourself when needed.

While holiday movies and social media make it seem like everyone is filled with joy, the data tell a different story. Most people experience at least some holiday stress. You’re not failing if you find this season challenging.

Remember these key points:

• It’s okay to set boundaries and say no
• Taking breaks isn’t selfish; it’s necessary
• Mixed emotions are completely normal
• Realistic expectations matter more than perfection
• Support is available if you need it

Small steps can make a real difference. You don’t need to implement every strategy in this article. Pick one or two that resonate with you and try them this season.

And most importantly, be kind to yourself. You’re doing your best in a season that asks a lot of everyone.